Shut up, Sweetie
by Clover123
Summary: ChrOmid Drabbles. Christa and Omid are scientific proof that opposites attract. Drabbles that take place AU parts of the episodes or AU no apocalypse. Some are short and stupid. Please leave me requests for what you want to see.
1. Yoga Time

**So. Since What a Difference won't be updated til January, I have decided to write this nifty little thing. I'm not sure if someone has a story with the same name or not, because I feel like I've seen one. If you do, I apologize, because I liked the name. Some of these are AU during the apocalypse, this particular chapter takes place before the apocalypse, and some are just no apocalypse. **

**I'm open to requests! Leave me a review and maybe I'll write your idea! :)**

**I do NOT own this. I just made up the plot. **

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Omid didn't know why he loved filming things, he just did. One of the things he liked to film was Christa. She was a complete nervous wreck around cameras, so that meant he got a shit ton of footage that was _America's Funniest Home Videos _worthy. One of his favorite videos was one he liked to call "Yoga Time", but in a seductive voice.

It had started one day when Omid was playing around with his video camera and Christa had started doing yoga to help with her stress. She was using Wii Fit, some game she'd found and was imitating the yoga instructor. For this one, she was standing on one foot and had lifted the other one up in the air, around the height of her shoulder.

"Hey, Chrissy! Smile for the camera!" Christa looked over to see her boyfriend filming her.  
"Omid, stop filming me. You know I hate that!" But Omid didn't stop filming. He kept shouting things like "Come on, Christa! Lift your damn foot up!" and "I'm still filming, Chrissy!"

Eventually, Christa lifted her foot up with the intentions of kicking the camera right out of Omid's hand. That didn't work, and she ended up falling backwards into the TV, which was sitting right next to a vase, which fell on the cat, the cat ran off and knocked over a shelf, and Omid caught it all on video.

To make a long story short, Omid discovered his girlfriend liked to break things.


	2. No, I didn't eat the baby

**This one takes place in the same universe as "Lost in the Halls". Hope ya like it. Remember, leave me a request and I'll see what I can do! :)**

**I don't own this. **

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"Mom, did you eat the baby?" 6 year old Clementine asked. Christa looked down at her daughter who was writing her name on her homework sheet.

"Why do you ask?"

Clementine looked at her like she was dumb. "'Cause Morgan said that's how Lilly had Cate! And Sophia said that's what Maggie did to have a baby in her belly!"

Christa raised an eyebrow. She and Omid had never actually told Clementine how she was conceived, but she was too young to know. Carley down the street said Charlie, her son, had walked in on her and Doug having sex, and just said, "So that's how babies are made?"

"No, Clem. I didn't eat the baby."

"Did daddy?"

"No. When mommies and daddies love each other, and want to have a baby, they… well…" Christa turned her head towards the bedroom door and shouted, "Omid!"

Omid came skidding out in nothing but his boxer shorts. "On a scale of first aid kit to ambulance, how bad is it?"

"Please explain to Clementine that neither of us ate the baby. Thanks!" and then, she ran out and locked the bedroom door.


	3. That's enough rest stops for today

**Includes spoilers for Ep. 1 of S2. **

**I don't own the Walking Dead.**

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Remember that night in Barstow?" Christa asked, holding back her laughter. Omid nodded.

"Vegas weekend…" Omid replied in a seductive voice. Christa nodded again and entered the men's room.

"Why don't you get cleaned up in the girl's room, Clem?" Omid had just remembered there was a 9 year old who probably knew nothing about sex standing behind him. "We'll just be right next door."

"I hope the sink works in there." Clem replied, gazing at the door. She rubbed her face that was caked in dirt.

"I wouldn't count on it. Just keep track of your things."

"Alright." So Clem went into the girl's room and Omid went into the men's.  
Christa was standing at the sink, wiping her dark, scratched up face off. Her baby bump was more apparent, especially with the shirt they had found in an abandoned camp. It had been abandoned for a reason. Omid almost got bit getting the clothes for all three of them.

"Why did we just crack sexy jokes in front of a 9 year old?" Omid asked amused, leaning up against the door.

Christa didn't look up. "She's gotta get the Talk sooner or later. I suggest sooner. She's gonna start asking where kids come from again, Omid, and she's gonna want to know the real answer. We can't just keep giving her the _Siri _answer and saying, 'from their mothers'." Omid nodded in response.

"You've got a point there." He hovered over her and rubbed his hand over her shoulders.

"Fuck… that feels so good, Omid…"

Omid pointed to her bump. "Remember, the baby can hear you. You want its first words to be 'fuck you, mama!'?"

"You're one to talk, sir swears a lot." Omid laid his hand on Christa's bump.

"Jeeze. For someone who doesn't get to eat a lot, your stomach is huge. And hard."

Christa chuckled softly. "Well I _do _have a baby in there. What'd you think was in there, air?"

"If it was, that would be a lot of air." Omid kissed her bump. "'sides. You're still my beautiful Christa, even if you do have a huge stomach. I like that."

"That's sweet," Then, she looked at Omid's wide eyes. Even as a grown man, he gave her the puppy dog eyes, which wasn't hard, seeing that his eyes were already larger than normal. Maybe it was a Persian thing. "We're not naming our baby Omid Jr."

"Damn it."

_BANG!_

The couple pulled apart when they heard the gunshot from the room over. "SHIT! CLEMENTINE!" They both yelled this in sync and, and raced to run out of the room.

Omid grabbed his handgun, and Christa grabbed her hunting rifle, and they slammed the girl's room door open. Clementine was standing in front of a body pointing her glock at it. It was the dead body of a teenage girl, who looked like she had been rather well fed, though she was still thin.

"What the hell happened in here!?" Christa demanded, putting down her rifle. Omid put his handgun on safety and shoved it into his pocket.

"Yeah, what in the world?"

"She – she came in when I was getting my water bottle! She took my gun and tried to take my hat! She called Lee a 'bozo'." Clementine paused to take a breath. "So I ran at her and tried to take my gun, and then she shot herself in the head, so I took the gun back!"

Well... That's enough rest stops for today..."


	4. Do you mind?

**Here's a chapter that has a concept that I will likely end up using in "What a Difference". Basically, it takes place after the Crawford fiasco. Just without Clem being upset. It's really dumb (and weird), but hey. These are drabbles.**

Lee knew that the plumbing at the mansion probably didn't work, but he opened the door anyway to use the restroom.

Christa and Omid were nude. Standing right in front of him. They had their arms wrapped around each other and lips locked. Christa's stomach stuck out. Quite a lot, actually. Suddenly, Omid stopped and said, "You mind? We're trying to have a make out session." Lee backed out of the restroom and closed the door. He heard the lock click, and Omid's voice.

"Some people just don't have consideration for others!"

"We _are _in the middle of a zombie apocalypse…"

Lee backed away and walked into the living room. Noticing his face, Ben asked him what was wrong.

"I just saw more of Christa and Omid than I ever want to see. Ever."

"What happened?" Kenny asked from the couch, in between gulps of whiskey.

"Don't go into the restroom down here. At all. They're having a nude, make out session." Kenny choked on the whiskey. Ben beat him on the back.

"You walked in on them, _too_?" Molly called from the stairwell, not to loudly as to wake Clem up.

"Yeah. I'm traumatized now. Also, I think Christa's pregnant."


	5. 1 Million Youtube Likes

**Okay, so this chapter's idea was suggested by AquaDestinysEmbrace. I liked the idea. LOL.**

**Larry: Did she mention she doesn't own the Walking Dead?**

**Clover: Oh, yeah! I don't own the Walking Dead. Nor do I plan to. **

**Clover's closet: *Suddenly opens and reveals trillions of papers labeled "Plans to own the Walking Dead"***

**Clover: Don't mind that...**

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"So how do I work this?" Christa asked, messing around with the buttons on Omid's camera. They had trained Teddy, the cat to jump over Omid on to the counter, but Ava, Christa's older adoptive sister, wanted proof. Because apparently the Facebook pictures weren't enough.

"Press this one to start recording, and this one to stop." Omid pointed out the correct buttons to press and Christa nodded.

"This'll be easy." She hit record as Omid got Teddy and a cat treat.

"Hey Ava! We're going to show you real fucking proof that we _trained _Teddy! Watch this!" Omid lifted the treat up to the top of his head and wiggled it.

"Come on, Ted! Come – AHGR!" Teddy latched his sharp claws into the sides of Omid's head.

"Christa! Don't just stand there!" Omid's muffled voice came from under Teddy's stomach. Christa set down the camera on the counter behind her, and ran over to Omid. They ended up not being able to pry Teddy off of Omid's face, and had to call animal control. After Omid was flipping through the footage, he realized Christa had forgotten to turn the camera off, and that she had "accidently" emailed it to Ava.

Needless to say, Omid no longer got along with the cat, and Ava had a huge ton of footage that got 1 million likes on Youtube.


	6. Which one will we need?

**This is sort of like a prequel to Ch. 2, "No, I did not eat the baby", and also takes place in the same uni as "Lost in the Halls".**

**Don't own it.**

This was it; Christa opened her eyes as she looked at her pregnancy test. Two little lines showed up. She _was _indeed pregnant.

Now, she just had to tell Omid. How she would react, she knew. He had reacted by fainting when his younger sister, Artemiz, announced her pregnancy last Thanksgiving (They had only invited Christa's side of the family and Omid's siblings, since his father had been dead for years and his mother hated both of them).

Omid was at work (he worked as a teacher's aide at the middle school down the street), and Christa, who was a nurse, didn't have to work until the next day. She had free time on her hands. Quite a lot, actually.

Quickly, she got on the computer and typed in "How to tell my boyfriend I'm pregnant". Several results popped up, but one that caught her eye had the word "creative" in it and from there, she found several different creative ways to tell Omid. One that Christa liked was something about a onesie. The woman who had written it had said that her husband liked golf, so she found a onesie that said, "Daddy's Little Caddy". Where she found a onesie like that and what a caddy was, Christa didn't care, she just like that idea.

She had some shopping to do.

Later, after dinner, Christa had gone back into their bedroom to find the onesies she'd gotten (One said "Daddy's Little Genius" that was light pink, and the other one said "If Mommy says no, just ask Grandma", which was a light baby blue.) to show them to Omid.

"Hey, Omid?"

"Yeah?"

"Which one do you think we'll need?" she held up the baby clothes. Omid looked at his girlfriend for a moment. What was she talking about? Then, something clicked.

Omid's eyes flicked down to Christa's stomach. Christa smiled slightly.

"No way!" Omid shouted. Christa's face broke out into a smile. Omid looked on the verge of tears. "I'm gonna be a DADDY!"

"What names do you like, babe?" Christa whispered, delighted that Omid was taking the news of his impending fatherhood so amazingly.

"… I- I don't know!" Then he said, "How far along are you?"

"I don't know. I'll have to schedule an appointment with an Obstetrician. Get an ultrasound. A sonogram. Holy shit! What am I going to tell my parents?"

Omid shrugged. "I dunno, hun. Just say, 'oh, by the way, I'm pregnant' in the middle of a conversation and continue talking. I'll bet you Nickie will be the first to figure it out. Either her or no one. Or maybe your dad will try to chop off my balls."

He leaned in close and kissed her softly, and then whispered in her ear, "I like Clementine for a girl… Just like your mom. Clementine Marie…"


	7. IKEA scuffles

**I got this idea after I was reading posts on Fmylife. com. It made me LOL.**

**I don't own the Walking Dead.**

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It was late at night, and Christa was laying down in bed, watching some old cartoons ("Just to see if they're good!" she had told Omid when he asked.) when her phone rang. She didn't recognize the number, but maybe Omid, who was out Black Friday shopping, lost his phone and was using a payphone.

"Hello?"

"Hey… Chrissy… Have I mentioned I love you?"

"What did you do?" Omid called Christa "Chrissy" a lot, but only used that in the same sentence as "Have I mentioned I love you" when he did something that would probably piss her off.

"I… er. I _might _need bail money…"

"WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DOWNLOAD?!"

"Nothing! Yeah… nothing. I beat up a guy at _IKEA_!"

"What was _so _important that you had to beat up a guy at _IKEA _for?"

"A toaster."


	8. Titanic, Ice Cream, and Skeptics

_ A/N: Here's one for a first date. It takes place in 2000, when Christa and Omid are on their first date. In Christa's den, watching Titanic, and eating ice cream. __**Also, Christa's mother's name is Clementine. Just wanted to let you know.**__ Enjoy!_

_war-lover12: Gryffindors are red..._

_Clover: Ravenclaws are blue..._

_Both: We don't own 'The Walking Dead' - _

_war-lover's sister: SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DO. NOT. SUE._

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"You two stay out of each other's pants. I'll be checking on you," said Jonathan Phoebus, watching his youngest daughter Christa and a boy she'd brought home, Omid Stephens, go into the den. It was their "first date". All he knew was that they were watching _Titanic _and that Omid brought ice cream.

That wasn't really much of a date.

"Dad, you really think we'd do that? On the first date?" Christa rolled her eyes. "I'm Christa, not Nicole. Go to Nicole if you want that." So she joined Omid in the den to watch the movie. Apparently, he'd stopped by the store on his way over and bought a tub of vanilla and chocolate ice cream "because they'd need it at the end of the movie", but Christa, who'd never seen _Titanic _was quite skeptical.

Jonathan walked into the kitchen, where his wife was chopping up celery.

"You think they're behaving themselves?"

Her French accent came back with a reply immediately. "_Oui._ Jon, do you think ze would do zat? She's _Christa_. Straight A, 'I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up' Christa. No way would she give up -"

"Yeah… I got it, Clem." Clementine shot him a look and continued to chop her celery for whatever the heck she was making.

-3 hours and 15 minutes later-

Jon opened up the door to the den to check on the two… and found them on the couch, with their arms around each other, asleep. A very large, empty ice cream tub was laying just a few feet away, and two spoons on the ground.

The credits were whizzing on the TV screen, and Celine Dion's voice was blasting "My Heart Will Go On".

Yet the two still were asleep.

Jon smiled to himself at how cute they looked when they slept, and closed the door.


	9. Guys and Dolls

**A/N: Miss me? This chapter takes place a year before the last one, in 1999. I don't know anything about what high school was like back then. Don't judge.**

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16 year old Omid couldn't stare at the girl sitting a few tables away. Christa Phoebus was sitting there, chatting with her friend. He couldn't help thinking she was probably one of the most beautiful girls he'd ever seen.

Smooth, dark skin that only held one scar on the left side of her jaw, long, silky chocolate brown hair, and amazing pale brown orbs for eyes.

Of course, she was _way _out of his league. He was a short, Persian nerd who talked nonstop about history, and Christa was a sweet, beautiful straight A student in all AP classes. And besides, she already had a boyfriend, a tough, asshole of a jock named Jackson Carters.

"Miss Phoebus, Miss Howards, quiet down over there," Mrs. Ward, their Living Skills teacher warned, then she turned to Omid. "…And you, Mr. Stephens. _Pay attention_."

So Mrs. Ward went on about how children were a big responsibility, and how they would need to prepare for parenthood in the future. Why they were learning this as juniors, Omid had no idea.

Then, the teacher began telling them about a project they'd be doing where they would take care of a doll. But they'd be partnered up.

Omid heard Hattie, one of Christa's friends let out a giggle, staring straight at him. Christa gave him a weak smile. Omid gave her small wave. And then, Mrs. Ward began partnering them up.

Mrs. Ward brought out a large box full of baby dolls, highly realistic looking baby dolls.

"Mr. Stephens, you will be with…" she adjusted her glasses and then said, "Miss Phoebus," and then went on to partner the others up. He couldn't believe his luck! Then, Hattie passed him a note. It was written in a fine cursive that he could barely read.

_To: Omeed (Did I spell it right?)_

_From: Christa _

_:) Cool, we're partners now. This will be fun. What do you think? _

_-C_

So Omid wrote back:

_Hi, Christa. It's spelled 'Omid', but you were close. This'll be fun, but don't you have a boyfriend? _

_-O_

He passed it back to Hattie, who handed it to Christa. She read it, wrote back, and then gave it Hattie, who tossed it back.

_To: __Omeed (Did I spell it right?)__ Omid_

_From: Christa_

_Not anymore. I dumped Jackson after he called me a slut behind my back. He said YOU of all people called me that. Dunno why. But that loser's history now. So yeah. We're good. _

_-C_

Omid smiled to himself. This was going to fun. Very fun, indeed.

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**A/N: Tell me what you thought. Come on... You know you want to review...**


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